My Brother Asked My Fiance to Marry Him, and My Mother Took His Side / Bright Side

When Reddit user Equivalent_Ladder197 shared his journey of navigating family challenges, he likely never anticipated the ripple effect it would create across the internet. What began as a story of building a new life with his partner quickly spiraled into an extraordinary family feud. Here’s how it unfolded.

The start of the conflict

“My (28M) brother, Mark (26M), used to date my fiancé, Jenn (26F), a year ago.”

The story begins when the poster unknowingly starts dating his brother’s ex-girlfriend. Mark and Jenn had dated briefly in 2022 before Mark ended things with her because he didn’t want the commitment. By the time the OP moved back to town and met Jenn in October, he had no clue she and Mark had a history.

“She was easily the most beautiful and intelligent woman I ever met.” The author and Jenn quickly hit it off, and their relationship blossomed into something serious.

When Christmas rolled around, the OP decided to introduce Jenn to his family, which led to the first explosion from Mark.

“Mark saw her photo and blew up, calling me a bad brother for dating his ex-girlfriend.” The author recounted the confusion he felt when he discovered all the facts. Mark demanded his brother break it off with Jenn, but the OP refused.

Over time, Mark seemed to let it go—or so it seemed.

The proposal incident

“On Jenn’s birthday this year, I took her out to a fancy dinner with both of our families and her closest friends and asked her to marry me.” While the family celebrated, Mark once again exploded, protesting the engagement. The tension simmered.

“Mark had been pretty quiet about the whole thing for the last two months. I didn’t see him much and figured he went low contact with me, which I had no problem with.”

What happened sometime after that was totally unexpected.

“My brother invited me and my fiancé for a family dinner at his apartment with my parents and sisters.” The author thought it was weird, but his parents and sisters were also going, so they all agreed to go. “The dinner was nice, and we moved to the living room to talk.” About 30 minutes into normal conversation, Mark stood up to make a speech. “He made a long speech about being happy to have his family around for his big moment.” And then he got on one knee asking Jenn to marry him. She was confused and demanded that he put it away and stand up. The OP, furious, physically intervened after Mark made a scene suggesting Jenn was only with his brother to spite him.

A “test” gone wrong

Later, Mark admitted the proposal wasn’t about lingering feelings but a bizarre “test” concocted with a friend.
“He thought it would be a good idea to propose and see if she dumped me for him.”

Jenn firmly shut down his accusations: “She told him she was offended at the idea that she would go as low as to pursue me just to get back at him.”

Mark uninvited himself from the wedding, stating he couldn’t support their relationship. The OP and Jenn accepted this decision, but their mother refused to let it go. She criticized the author for being “petty” and accused Jenn of “tearing the family apart.”

The situation escalated further when their mother came to their place and physically attacked Jenn during a heated confrontation. The OP was left with no choice but to sever ties with his mother indefinitely. At first, Jenn chose not to press charges, but then she and the OP decided to have the incident documented and filed a report.

“We filed a report with the police and were told that even though Jenn doesn’t want to pursue anything, it’s not up to us to decide whether it goes further, but they would keep our preference in mind. We provided some pretty decent evidence of the assault, including pictures of Jenn’s face and texts with my mom and dad talking about what happened. We were advised to report and record any other incidents with my mom going further in case anything else happened. Got about 100 angry text messages that told me they at least spoke with her regarding the incident.”

A little family background

Some people were asking questions about the author’s family dynamic, so he revealed his upbringing. Mark was the golden child, receiving preferential treatment in all aspects of life—from clothes and toys to the emotional investment of their parents. The OP and their sisters were often overlooked, punished unfairly, and made to feel like second-class members of the family. A particularly painful episode involved the OP working hard to buy a car at 18, only for it to be forcibly taken and given to Mark.

“I got my first car at 18 after all of my hard work. When Mark got his license, my parents asked me to let him use my car to get around and for extra practice behind the wheel. Reluctantly I agreed, and for a while the arrangement was fine. Mark used my car when I didn’t need it and helped maintain it pretty well. When he expressed wanting my parents to buy him his own car, my mom came to me and told me to give him my car because he needed it more. When I refused, she threatened to kick me out. We got in a fight that night, which ended with her giving Mark my car and taking me to transfer ownership of it to him within the following few days. Since I didn’t have anywhere else I could go at the time, I just sucked it up and signed it over.”

After years of mistreatment, the OP distanced themselves from their family, cutting contact after high school. Years later, spurred by their sister’s wish for a united family during her first pregnancy, the OP cautiously attempted reconciliation.

A fresh start

The couple had an intimate ceremony at Jenn’s brother’s lake house, which the OP described as one of the best days of their lives. The guest list was small, ensuring a drama-free celebration surrounded by supportive loved ones. Shortly after, the OP and Jenn relocated to a new city to distance themselves from toxic family dynamics.

“I have a wife and a newborn daughter now :),” shared the OP. “We found out Jenn was pregnant around the time of my last post, so that pretty much kicked us into overdrive as far as moving away and starting fresh in a new place. I was able to transfer to a different location, and Jenn found a new job here that lets her work remotely. My daughter was born early last month. She’s beautiful, happy, and healthy. Jenn’s also doing okay.”

As for the OP’s parents, contact remains nonexistent. The OP’s mother attempted to reach out through a fake Facebook account, demanding access to their grandchild, but her efforts were promptly blocked.

The couple is now focused on their future, with plans to create a nurturing environment for their daughter. They decided to prioritize their own well-being and stay committed to breaking cycles of dysfunction.

The OP’s journey reminds us that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is let go. To step away from what harms us, even when it wears the guise of love. This way we make space for relationships that truly nourish us rather than drain us.