I Refused to Give My Extra Seat to a Pregnant Woman — I Paid for It / Bright Side

Train journeys can sometimes be tricky, especially when it comes to finding that balance between personal space and sharing with others. Everyone has different reasons for needing extra room, whether it’s for comfort or health. A reader recently wrote to Bright Side, sharing a story about a challenging situation on a crowded train—one that really got people talking! It’s a reminder of how little moments can spark big reactions when our needs don’t quite match up with those around us.

Thank you, Noah, for sharing your train experience with us. We’ve put together 5 helpful tips to ensure a smoother journey and avoid a similar situation on your next trip.

Prioritize Your Health, No Matter the Stigma

Noah, it’s important to remember that you booked the extra seat for your health and well-being, which should always be your top priority. While the reactions from others were uncomfortable, your breathing issue is a legitimate reason for needing the space. Don’t feel pressured to compromise on your comfort because of others’ opinions.

Consider politely explaining your health condition upfront to avoid misunderstandings in the future. If a similar situation arises again, stand firm in your decision, knowing that you’re taking care of yourself, and remind yourself that no one’s judgment can dictate your needs.

Set Boundaries with Compassionate Clarity

In a similar scenario, it might help to approach the request from the pregnant woman with clear but kind communication. You could say something like, “I understand you’re in a tough situation, but I have a medical condition that requires me to have this extra seat. I hope you understand.” Being empathetic without sacrificing your health can help minimize conflict while keeping your boundaries intact.

Though it might still not prevent her from getting upset, being upfront with kindness may prevent the escalation you experienced. Sometimes a calm, firm response helps others realize they can’t force you into an uncomfortable situation without valid reasons.

Avoid Engaging with Passive Aggressive Passengers

Unfortunately, you may encounter passengers who become hostile, as you did with the woman who yelled at you. In these moments, it’s important to remind yourself that you are not obligated to defend yourself to strangers. Ignoring these comments, as long as they don’t become physically threatening, might be your best approach.

Engaging in a back-and-forth with an uninformed person can only fuel negativity and prolong your discomfort. Instead, try to focus on your own well-being and peace of mind, acknowledging that their outbursts do not define you.

Consider the Timing of Your Responses

For future trips, Noah, you might also think about addressing the situation earlier when people board the train. Instead of waiting until someone asks for your extra seat, you could proactively explain to your fellow passengers that you have a medical condition and require the space. This not only sets the tone for understanding, but may also prevent others from misinterpreting your actions or starting a confrontation.

By establishing your need early on, you prevent others from jumping to conclusions or becoming involved in unnecessary drama. It could set a tone of respect and awareness before any potential tension even begins.

Booking Options for Future Travel

For future trips, Noah, consider selecting seating that minimizes close contact with others—perhaps a seat in a less populated car or one near the end of the train. When you book, you could also note your medical condition in the special requests section, asking for an area where you’ll have more space or fewer passengers around you.

If this issue is recurring, some trains may allow you to book a “quiet zone” or seats in a less crowded section, offering you a more relaxed journey. Additionally, traveling at less busy times could help reduce the likelihood of confrontations. Protect your peace by planning your travel experience with your comfort in mind.

In another incident, a traveler expressed outrage after allegedly being asked by an airline to give up his seat for a dog during a recent flight. Read his story here.